My life should be on TV.
I wanted to post this on FB, but it’s so obvious who it’s about, I just couldn’t be that mean. Call me a two-faced bitch or heartless, but I just need to get this out.
whenever something bad happens, people have many different ways to cope. so i understand coping, but when you’re constantly posting about how happy you are, how awesome everything is, and how life has never been better, clearly you’re overdoing it and people can tell that underneath off of that happiness, is a vessel full of emptiness. i’ve been there plenty of times. there’s better ways to deal with tragic situations than to avoid the problem all together and try to camouflage it with false happiness.
What up Tumblr?!? It’s been a while since I’ve posted in you. I guess that’s because I’ve been busy trying to get my life back on track and get everything figured out. I swear, I have found the greatest guy. Yes, I do realize that I’ve gone through about 3 guys while having this Tumblr, but it’s all been a learning experience. I’ve never felt so…comfortable, complete, and just normal before. Oh, and happy. I feel genuinely happy. I’ve never had a relationship go so smoothly, and I’m loving the way things are looking.
I promise to not neglect you as much Tumblr.
Until next time! <3
make life so much harder than it has to be. But….everything seems to be going good since I sorted everything out in my head. Trying to learn to be more positive…
You can take the sharp objects away from the girl, but you can’t take away the urges.
I’ve been going crazy lately. Just, pretty much trapped in my own mind. No matter how good things seem to go, I just can’t shake away those thoughts built up for years. I didn’t know how to deal with them. I just push them down, to the point where I feel so happy. Kinda like the whole “if you fake it, you’ll eventually BE it” thing. I can’t tell real happiness from the happiness I’m trying to trick myself to feel. To be honest, I don’t even know if I really remember what true happiness is. I’ve tried being good, I promise. Stopped smoking, stopped cutting, stopped drinking excessively. I don’t know why, but I tried, I tried SO hard to keep those bad habits gone tonight, but I couldn’t. Something about the blade touching your skin, or the smoke filling your lungs. I don’t know what it is, but I feel relieved. Friends might not understand, but it’s always been a comfort thing for me. I just feel better after. It’s just a stinging reminder that I’m still an actual person I guess. Idk. Whatever it is, I missed it.
It’s been forever since my last actual post. So….let’s get updated….
Got suspended from school, got in a HUGE argument with my mom, got dumped by the oh so “great” guy I’ve written about, got fired, got rehired, learned how much of a bitch karma really is, got my new apartment, took the semester off of school, been trying to get my life balanced.
That’s obviously the short version. The long version will be coming up.